Sunday, May 20, 2012


Mitt Romney: high school pranks went too far

Republican presidential nominee and all around no nonsense character, Mitt Romney, had some fun in high school that now has voters taking notice.

At the prestigious Cranbrook School in 1965 when boys were men who dressed sharp and carried a good looking brief case, a new student appeared. This student wore long, bleached-blonde hair that may or may not have been covering a portion of the eye or face.

Hidden to the rest of the population perhaps, but Romney could spot the trouble a school yard away. Backed by a robust confidence and the natural order of the universe, Romney led the charge to hold the offender down and cut his hair.

To onlookers, the incident was nothing more than a prank, used to welcome the outsider to their establishment. But Romney knew what he was doing.

When asked for comment, a laughing Romney said "I don't remember that incident."

Of course. The presidential hopeful has had a lifetime of fighting evil and correcting the errors of society. How could he remember such a relatively small incident?

We can expect the same man who took a stand back then to take D.C. and continue his fearless charge of fixing the country, which, by now, is spiraling out of control.

"I'm a very different person than I was in high school," Romney said.

Well, maybe a reminder of the drive he once had to help save civilization as we know it will reignite the burning flame of protecting American values. Remember, Mitt, when encouraging a closeted homosexual with a firm, "Atta' girl!" in class was all the reverse psychology needed to right the simple wrong?

"I really can't remember that," Romney commented.

That's OK, Mitt. You want to focus on bigger issues this campaign season. It seems the economy and energy policies could use a good ol' snip, snip of the mop on top. And couldn't Iran use an "Atta' girl" on their nuclear development program?

In these uncertain times, it takes a natural leader who’s not afraid to take charge and take action. No apologies for doing what is necessary.

"I certainly am sorry for that, very deeply sorry for that," Romney said. But that's just him playing politics to appease the masses.

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